Review: The Heat

The formula works.  The mismatched partners / buddy comedy routine is as tried and true as any cinematic paradigm.  You could dedicate a whole blog with hundreds of posts to waxing poetic about the countless films that have successfully worked this theme.  And while this brand of narrative has occasionally featured women, this sphere has for the most part been dominated by male protagonists.  In a lot of ways, Bridesmaids has come to represent a bit of game changer for these types of buddy films as it not only proved that female driven buddy romps could win big at the box office, but also that you could do it with a bit of raunchy flair.  The Heat starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy definitely falls into this bucket of filmmaking, but whether the creative team pulls it off well is highly debatable.

The plot of the movie thrusts an arrogant know-it-all of an FBI agent in Sandra Bullock into a rocky partnership with a hate-it-all police detective (Melissa McCarthy) to track down a mysterious crime lord who is taking over the streets of Boston.  As the two work the case, they find that their contrasting styles complement one another both personally and professionally and help them to realize their respective faults and shortcomings.

If you are thinking that maybe you’ve seen Sandra Bullock play this kind of character before (Miss Congeniality 2), then you are right.  And if the trailer has you thinking that Melissa McCarthy has played this exact role in pretty much every movie she’s ever been in, then you would definitely not be wrong. Therein lies one of the main issues plaguing this film; director Paul Feig has put together a film featuring two actors who are essentially reprising characters they’ve done before in a kind of narrative that has been done to death.  Simply put, nothing feels new about this movie. 

If that were the only issue with the movie, then it would still be fairly entertaining, but unfortunately the editing ensures that film simply will not come together as it should. On far too many occasions, scenes run far too long only to  accommodate some self-indulgent rambling ad lib, rather than focus on storytelling and pacing.  Sure, there are some dead-on huge laugh-out-loud moments in this movie, but the space between these gags are far too long and feel extremely flat.  That little attention is paid to the details of the film's nonsensical plots twists normally would feel incredibly damaging,, but ultimately is relegated to an afterthought because of the dull uneven nature of ninety-percent of the movie.

Like most out there, I thought Bridesmaids was entertaining and a good chunk of that is attributed to Melissa McCarthy.  However, her more recent work left me convinced that her five minutes had expired.  I have to admit though that in The Heat, she proves that perhaps the expiration date on her brand of humor has not yet come to pass.  Sure, the editing does her no favors as she is guilty of some flat jokes, but she offsets those misses by delivering the bulk of the laugh out loud moments.   That she can also turn a scene from obscene to heart-felt on the turn of the dime is purely a bonus.  McCarthy for so many reasons is the only redeeming element in this movie.

As for her partner in crime fighting, Sandra Bullock, she is bland and uninteresting in this film from star to finish.  There is never a moment where I feel like Bullock wants to be in this any scene or that she cares about the finished product.  Cruise control, mailing it in, laying down, paycheck project – whatever cliché, analogy, or idiom you can think of to project utter apathy absolutely applies to her performance.  This is always inexcusable but especially egregious when you get top billing.

As for the work of the rest of the cast, it’s the typical collective performance you would expect to find in an action/comedy of this ilk.  Michael Rapaport, Jane Curtin, Thomas Wilson, and Michael McDonald are seasoned actors and hit all their marks in unremarkable but satisfactory fashion.  Ditto for Marlon Wayans, who is affable enough in a supporting role, but contributes little-to-none in the comedy department.  Ultimately though, the work of the supporting players is rendered inconsequential by the missteps of both director and star.  Nothing any supporting player could lend to a film could overcome such obstacles.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if you love Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy, buddy comedies, cop comedies, or movies set in Boston.  Heck, it doesn’t even matter if you are related to anyone in the cast.  There is no reason to see this in the cinema.  It’s not worth the money, the cost of concessions, the gas used to drive to the cinema, et al.  At best, it’s a week night rental.  The movie will make you laugh heartily during the most random of scenes, but the mediocrity of the rest of the film will ensure that those comedic moments will quickly be forgotten.

Standout Performance:  Joey McIntyre.  For all the New Kids on the Block fans out there!

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Review: A Haunted House

When one looks back upon their lives, there’s always a handful of wrong decisions that makes you shake your head right there on the spot.  Maybe it was dressing up like Punky Brewster in the third grade or wasting six months of your life chasing a certain someone you would like to forget.  It doesn’t matter whether it was twenty years ago or twenty minutes ago, the pain of those memories elicits that involuntary action.  It had been a while since I last added to my personal list of epic missteps but that all changed the moment I decided to watch A Haunted House.  You may wonder why I even bothered with this film.  Was it because of boredom?  Sure and partially a reaction to the paucity of movies in the marketplace, but a mistake is a mistake and I paid for it dearly throughout the ninety minutes of running time.

The movie is a spoof of the Paranormal Activity franchise in much the same way the Scary Movie franchise approaches other horror films.  It should come as no surprise that Marlon Wayans serves as the writer and star of the projecting considering how bitter he has been even since he and his brother were pushed out of the Scary Movie films.  The plot of this film follows Wayans’ Malcom and his girlfriend Kisha (Essence Atkins) as they move into a house together and find a frivolous reason to set up a number of cameras all over their house only to find that a ghost is in their midst.

From start to finish this is a step-by-step parody loaded with lowbrow sex, race, drugs, and bodily function humor to go with a flurry of asinine physical comedy – and I use that word “comedy” very loosely.  Director Michael Tiddes, a man who going into this film had directed the same number of feature films as me (zero), should petitions IMDB to get this movie stricken from his resume as it is potentially the worst movie of not only the year but perhaps the decade.  While there are only so many things you can do in terms of cinematography with the “found footage concept,” my guess here is that you could get better entertainment value from watching the security feed of a retail store.  Across the board, A Haunted House is amateurish in humor, style, and direction.

It almost seems absurd to critique the acting in this movie, because, it’s like shooting fish in the barrel.  However, I am going to give a pass to David Koechner, Nick Swardson, and Cedric the Entertainer.  They knew what they getting into when the signed on the dotted line, and they give this film precisely what you would expect from each of them – over-the-top utterly nonsensical character portrayals whose successes are predicated upon the work of the protagonists.  Unfortunately, Marlon Wayans and Essence Atkins leave a lot to be desired in that department.

We’ve seen in the past what Wayans' can potentially be as an actor can be (Requiem for a Dream), but unfortunately more often than not we see what he is not (Scary Movie, Little Man).  It’s more of the same for Wayans in this movie – overacting and an array of histrionics designed to appeal to the lowest denominator in society.  It’s a tired act that torpedoes what little (if any) this movie has going for it and it’s precisely why he has been relegated to the fringe of the industry.  As for Atkins, she is a stereotype, a caricature, who does absolutely nothing to distinguish herself as a performer.  She and Wayans bring out the camp in each other.

So the movie is bad and the acting is terrible.  At the end of the day are you really surprised that A Haunted House is such a debacle?  Of course not.   The Paranormal Activity story arc is played out so there was no possible away a parody about it would play well.  Even still, there’s no excuse for a movie to be this bad.  Sure there are one or two moments where you almost laugh, but those moments are far too fleeting and far too few to make this worth the film it was printed on.  Avoid this one, and Scary Movie 5 (which is out in theaters today) and you will be far better off for it.  In fact, you would do well to strike the entire parody genre from your movie radar as it has morphed from a  once regarded comedic art form into cinematic poop.  You have been warned. 

Standout Performance: Shawn Wayans for sitting this one out.

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