Review: Mirror Mirror

In my review of Snow White and the Huntsman, I mentioned that I always find it curious when really similar projects come to market around the same time.  Still, to have one year – two Snow White movies – and neither made by Disney seems highly unique.  It’s no secret that I am not the biggest fan of the mouse and that alone probably incentivized me to give these two projects a chance.  I gave Snow White and the Huntsman a C grade because Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth failed to overcome the lethal combination of Kristen Stewart and poor writing, so I was curious to see if anyone or anything in Mirror Mirror was up to the task of nullifying the smug self-gratifying approach that Julia Roberts seems to take to her projects these days. 

The movie strays a bit from the versions of the Snow White tale that most of us are familiar with but unlike Snow White and the Huntsman, it does so with a lighter touch and an attempt at humor.  It is a much more family friendly version of the tale.  The unintended consequence of this attempt to induce laughter is that too much of the film is delivered tongue-in-cheek.  Not since the Snow White episode of The Brady Bunch have I seen the story relegated to cheesey lines.

The larger problem of course is the Julia Roberts.  Sometime after Erin Brokovich, it feels like she decided it was okay to just show up on a movie set and play herself over and over again.  My guess is that she figured people weren’t paying to see her act, but to see Julia Roberts.  Unfortunately for her, this has worn dangerously thin as audiences have grown tired of her sarcastically chortling her way through movie after movie.  Nothing changes in Mirror Mirror.   Her performance is painful and pales greatly in comparison to Charlize Theron’s in the aforementioned Huntsman.

As for Lily Collins as Snow White – there really isn’t much to say other than that she looked the part and delivered her lines.  The performance is neither terrible nor remarkable.  Armie Hammer as Prince Alcott is a total ham.  Nothing he has done since The Social Network has been impressive and his work in this film continues this downward trend.  In regards to the rest of the cast, Nathan Lane, Sean Bean, Danny Woodburn, et al do very little in limited screen time to right this ship, but my guess is given the opportunity none could have prevent the inevitable. 

I am bestowing upon this film the dubious distinction of the second best Snow White movie of 2012.  It has to be an absolute no for adults and children alike.  It really is an exercise in mediocrity and the cast and crew show very little respect for the source material.  If for some reason you really want to watch a Snow White movie, then opt for the one, and if you’re looking for something to entertain the kids, try the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.  Here’s hoping that Armie Hammer can wash off the stink of Julia Roberts and right his career in the upcoming The Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp – though my gut tells me that movie will be next summer’s John Carter.

Standout Performance: Me, for making it through this film.

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Review: Larry Crowne

Here is a one-line synopsis about the movie Larry Crowne.  The film is about a really nice guy who is recently divorced, recently laid off, and short on money.  All one hundred minutes of the movie play out in a fashion as bland and ordinary as that synopsis.  Beyond that, I don’t know that I feel compelled to expound much further.  The film runs about one hundred minutes and as those minutes melt away, you get the impression that Tom Hanks – as the director- intends it to be precisely so, as if such an approach gives the proceedings the feeling of authenticity.  Ultimately, it just feels like lazy filmmaking.

Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts are the two draws to this movie but their cache is not enough to keep this film from plunging into the depths of apathy.  In fact, their presence detracts from what few merits there are about this film, as clearly their respective star powers have diminished.  What makes it onto screen are two performances completely void of the vitality and charisma that planted Hanks and Roberts firmly onto the A-list – this seemingly the result of years of complacency combined with Nia Vardalos’ and Tom Hanks’ milquetoast script.  It is not quite to the level of watching the 1972-version of Willie Mays stumbling around the outfield as a New York Met, but their respective drop offs are palpable. 

Hanks is at his tolerable best when he is acting opposite Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s Talia, who shines as Crowne’s youthful newfound life coach.  She is funny and her free spirit brings energy to the middling proceedings.  The strength of their dynamic though is problematic to the film, because the chemistry between Hanks and Roberts – which is supposed to be the driving force in the film – pales in comparison.  In fact, the best scenes in the movie are those that involve the supporting cast.  Rami Malek, Malcom Barret, George Takei, and Wilmer Valderama inject a little bit of life and some light-hearted humor to offset the real world issues plaguing the protagonists.

You really do not need to see this movie.  You probably know someone who is living Larry Crowne’s life and probably doing so in a much more interesting fashion.  If this movie is to be viewed, then in my mind it is best watched on cable on a night when you find yourself in front of the television with some other work to do.  If you are a Julie Roberts fan, then you’re better off avoiding this one and waiting for the much-anticipated Mirror, Mirror.  As for Hanks, he can be seen in the Oscar nominated Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

Standout Performance: Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Talia turns in a refreshing performance.

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