Review: Movie 43

The year was 1991.  I had hopped on the train to Boston to enjoy a saturday with friends.  After a fine meal, we decided to see a movie at the Loews Copley Plaza (gone but not forgotten).  Someone insisted on seeing a movie I had never heard of called Drop Dead Fred and we all acquiesced.  I was basking in the glow of a perfect day away from school and thought nothing could ruin the moment.  Twenty minutes into the movie, I realized that I was horribly wrong.  There was one thing that could do just that…and I was now watching it.  As I walked out of the cinema some ninety minutes later I uttered these three words: “worst movie ever.”  In the two decades since, I may have echoed that sentiment a few times, but no movie has truly been able to seize that moniker from Drop Dead Fred.  All of that changed yesterday when I watched Movie 43, because it is indeed the “worst movie ever.”

Movie 43 is a collection of self-contained sketches directed by a collection of individuals featuring casts that are accomplished to varying degrees.  The comedic (and I use that word lightly) skits are tied together by a plotline featuring Dennis Quaid as a deranged screenwriter who desperately and forcibly pitches script ideas to a film executive (Greg Kinnear).  What ensues is a litany of asinine juvenile sketches that wouldn’t even be good enough for the SNL cutting room floor. 

Let’s cut to the chase.  Yes, it really is the worst movie I have ever seen and were it not for extreme boredom I probably would not have made it past the first twenty minutes.  However, what is most surprising about this movie is some of the names attached to it.  Some of that can be explained away by the fact that each actor’s awareness of the production was contained to their own respective sketches.  While that nugget absolves absolutely no one, it makes things a bit more palatable.   Peter Farrelly (There's Something About Mary, Kingpin) however has no such excuse as he championed this project from start to finish as a writer/producer/director.

So what makes it so bad?  The skit about an eligible bachelor with testicles on his neck (Hugh Jackman) would in most cases mark the low point for any film, but not in this one.  With sketches about coprophilia (Anna Faris), female menstruation (Chloe Grace Moretz), and rowdy birthday leprechauns, the film manages to reach new lows every time you think it could not possibly get any worse.  The experience of watching Movie 43 is best likened to following the real life exploits of Lindsay Lohan on TMZ.  It’s repulsive and disgusting yet demands attention because you just can’t help but wonder how far the once mighty can fall.  Rest assured, this film will plummet beneath whatever depths of idiocy you can fathom.

If I absolutely had to pick out a bright spot or two in the movie, I would single out real life couple Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts for their portrayal of a married couple who has opted to home school their son.  Likewise, Terrence Howard as the coach of an all black high basketball team stands slightly above the other sketches.  Sure, those two skits have moments where they pander to the lowest denominator in society, but there are also some genuinely funny punch lines that almost make you forget the shame and regret that mounts the longer you watch this movie.

To spend any more time discussing Movie 43 would be a disservice to myself and to the rest of humanity.  Before you clicked on this post, you were probably not inclined to watch this movie and hopefully, nothing I have written will in any way change your opinion.  There’s bad; then there’s terrible; and then there’s another level that you should completely avoid and this is one of those movies you should never watch…ever…under any circumstances.  In fact, should this DVD ever find its way into your life, you should treat it as you would the VHS tape from The Ring.  Break it; burn it; throw it in a well; whatever you need to do to make sure your eyes never see a single frame.  You’ve been warned.

Standout Performance: Everyone who passed on this movie.  

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Review: The Dictator

I have to preface this review by saying that I have not been a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen. In fact, the only movie that I have seen him in is Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.  I enjoy raunchy humor just as much as the next guy, but there are limits to the depths of lowbrow comedy that I can appreciate before it becomes a series of tasteless stunts.  For this reason, I had chosen to steer clear of Baron Cohen’s work.  However, the trailers for The Dictator were edited very well – almost too well as it made me wary that the funniest parts of the movie had been already revealed.  Still, I decided to roll the dice and give this movie a look.

As a movie, an exercise in filmmaking, a coherent and compelling narrative, this is an exercise in total mediocrity.  It is paint by the numbers cinematic story telling at its worst.  But that’s okay, because that is not what the movie is about.  As a vehicle to entertain, it is very good.  It pains me to say this.  I almost feel embarrassed.  If there were an equivalent to writing this sentiment as a whisper (like maybe typing it in a smaller font), I would do it, because the humor is mean, degrading, racist, sexist, and a bunch of other “ists” that I cannot think of, but it works because everyone is fair game – and there is an odd sense of equality in that.

The fool is a fantastic vehicle to poke fun at the foibles of society and to ridicule social norms and Baron Cohen’s Aladeen is a total fool up to the task.  As a man in a vacuum, he is a walking bag of discrimination and insensitivity that plays like a destructive force against all that we consider right and proper.  But before you get the impression that this is some intelligent commentary on society, let me reassure you that it’s all mostly about generating raucous laughter.  In fact there is only one  moment when Cohen tries to stand on the proverbial soapbox, and that is precisely the same moment when the film comes to a screeching halt.

As for the rest of the cast:

Anna Faris is not at her dynamic best.  She sheds her usual spunky and vacuous persona for an overly zealous activist who is eerily similar to a girl I met many years ago from Wellesley College who was angered because I referred to myself as a freshman instead of a first year. 

Ben Kingsley is present in this film, which is the best that I can say.  Seeing him in this movie, I feel the same way I did when I saw him in The Love Guru (Mike Myers at his worst) – which is to wonder “why.” 

John C. Reilly and Ed Norton make small appearances in the film, but special kudos goes out to Megan Fox for finally finding a role that suits her perfectly.

But really the cast beyond Baron Cohen is just window dressing, because The Dictator is a one-man show.  I would recommend this movie even though there is going to be a segment of the population that will be turned off by the humor.  If you can appreciate a free-for-all mosh pit approach to comedy where no joke is off limits and everyone is fair game, then you will definitely enjoy this movie.  It is not as good as 21 Jump Street, but it is one of the better comedies that I have seen thus far in 2012.

Standout Performance: Jason Mantzoukas as Nadal – Baron Cohen’s partner in crime – is a great straight man to walking punch line that is Aladeen.

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Review: What's Your Number?

What’s Your Number? is a predictable mix of sarcasm, physical comedy, and awkward nudity that has become the staple of romantic comedies for mature (and immature) audiences.  Yet despite the fact that you know exactly where Anna Faris’ character is going to be when things fade to black and the closing credits start to roll, the movie is an entertaining romp through the personal past of Faris’ Ally Darling.  Faris excels at playing a spunky, quirky, walking disaster of a woman and with her knack for physical comedy she carries this film well.  Chris Evans – as her lothario neighbor Colin Shea – keeps pace with her comedic timing and manages to inject sentimentality into the proceedings when the two are not exchanging verbal barbs.

The premise of the film isn’t groundbreaking, but the concept of running through one’s list of former flames can lend itself to great comedy.  Unfortunately, the rogues gallery that represents Faris’ former flames falls short of the mark.  The filmmaker fails to make proper use of two very funny comedic talents in Andy Samberg and Thomas Lennon, instead opting for tired flimsy gags.  Despite this shortcoming, the movie remains brisk and entertaining as Faris’ charm and self-deprecating ways ensure that the film does not unravel.  The side plot that centers on issues between Faris’ Ally and her mother – played by Blythe Danner – seem contrived and extraneous and the necessity to flesh this out makes the second act come to a screeching halt. 

One thing of note that really works in this film beyond the chemistry between Faris and Evans is Boston as a backdrop to the proceedings.  As the city has become a more attractive place to film (fiscally, that is), filmmakers have become more adept at using the aesthetics and charm to add significant value to films.  Director Mark Myloid and crew do a fantastic job of capturing the city in a meaningful way.

At the end of the day film is really all about Faris and Evans and for most of the proceedings they are up to the task.  However ,if you’re looking cinematic genius then you will want to look elsewhere.  This movie really fits the bill for someone who wants to be entertained for a few hours without having to invest too much thought.  See it in a theater if you want to see some great visuals of Boston, but it is probably best suited for home viewing – preferably with a date.

Standout Performance: It wasn’t so much a product of Chris Pratt’s acting chops but every time he made an appearance onscreen it garnered a few laughs.

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