In my review of Snow White and the Huntsman,
I mentioned that I always find it curious when really similar projects come to
market around the same time. Still, to
have one year – two Snow White movies – and neither made by Disney seems highly
unique. It’s no secret that I am not the
biggest fan of the mouse and that alone probably incentivized me to give these
two projects a chance. I gave Snow White
and the Huntsman a C grade because Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth failed
to overcome the lethal combination of Kristen Stewart and poor writing, so I
was curious to see if anyone or anything in Mirror Mirror was up to the task of
nullifying the smug self-gratifying approach that Julia Roberts seems to take
to her projects these days.
The movie strays a bit from the versions of
the Snow White tale that most of us are familiar with but unlike Snow White and
the Huntsman, it does so with a lighter touch and an attempt at humor. It is a much more family friendly version of
the tale. The unintended consequence of
this attempt to induce laughter is that too much of the film is delivered
tongue-in-cheek. Not since the Snow
White episode of The Brady Bunch have I seen the story relegated to cheesey
lines.
The larger problem of course is the Julia Roberts. Sometime after Erin Brokovich, it
feels like she decided it was okay to just show up on a movie set and play
herself over and over again. My guess is
that she figured people weren’t paying to see her act, but to see Julia Roberts. Unfortunately for her, this has worn dangerously
thin as audiences have grown tired of her sarcastically chortling her way
through movie after movie. Nothing
changes in Mirror Mirror. Her
performance is painful and pales greatly in comparison to Charlize Theron’s in
the aforementioned Huntsman.
As for Lily Collins as Snow White – there
really isn’t much to say other than that she looked the part and delivered her
lines. The performance is neither
terrible nor remarkable. Armie Hammer as
Prince Alcott is a total ham. Nothing he
has done since The Social Network has been impressive and his work in this film
continues this downward trend. In
regards to the rest of the cast, Nathan Lane, Sean Bean, Danny Woodburn, et al
do very little in limited screen time to right this ship, but my guess is given
the opportunity none could have prevent the inevitable.
I am bestowing upon this film the dubious
distinction of the second best Snow White movie of 2012. It has to be an absolute no for adults and
children alike. It really is an exercise
in mediocrity and the cast and crew show very little respect for the source material. If for some reason you
really want to watch a Snow White movie, then opt for the one, and if you’re looking for something to entertain the kids, try the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. Here’s hoping
that Armie Hammer can wash off the stink of Julia Roberts and right his career
in the upcoming The Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp – though my gut tells me that
movie will be next summer’s John Carter.
Standout Performance: Me, for
making it through this film.
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