May 2012 Movie Guide

THE AVENGERS - May 4^th

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner

Official Synopsis: Marvel Studios presents the Super Hero team up of a lifetime, featuring Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow. When an unexpected enemy emerges that threatens global safety and security, Nick Fury finds himself in need of a team to pull the world back from the brink of disaster. Spanning the globe, a daring recruitment effort begins.

Why You Should See It: Because your mother always told you not to put all your eggs in one basket, but that is precisely what Marvel Studios is doing.

Why You Should Avoid It: No good reason whatsoever.

And the Magic 8 Ball Says:  Yes. Theatrical. IMAX, ETX, Digital projection, et al.

THE DICTATOR - May 11^th

Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, John C. Reilly, Ben Kingsley

Official Synopsis: The film tells the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed. It is inspired by the best selling novel “Zabibah and The King” by Saddam Hussein.

Why You Should See It: Because Sacha Baron Cohen walked the Oscar’s red carpet in character and dumped an urn full of ashes on Ryan Seacrest.

Why You Should Avoid It: It will no doubt feature embarrassingly low brow, squirm inducing humor.

And the Magic 8 Ball Says:  Take a pass.

BATTLESHIP - May 18^th

Starring: Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson, Rihanna, Taylor Kitsch

Official Synopsis: Battleship is an epic action-adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force. Based on Hasbro’s classic naval combat game.

Why You Should See It: See if Taylor Kitsch can rebound from contributing to the $120M loss that Disney reported for the 2^nd quarter of 2012.

Why You Should Avoid It: It is based on the board game Battleship – not exactly the richest source material in cinematic history.

And the Magic 8 Ball Says:  Bottom of your Netflix queue.

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING - May 18^th

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Chris Rock, Jennifer Lopez, Matthew Morrison, half of Hollywood

Official Synopsis: Four expectant couples learn that having a baby is anything but predictable in this romantic comedy based on Heidi Murkoff's ubiquitous best-seller.

Why You Should See It: Because Battleship is the only other new major new release that weekend.

Why You Should Avoid It: These ensemble movies featuring half of Hollywood (i.e. Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve) are cinematic rubbish.

And the Magic 8 Ball Says:  Never.

MEN IN BLACK III - May 25^th

Starring: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Alice Eve

Official Synopsis: The Men in Black are back, and this time Agent J must take a trip into the past in order to save both the future and his taciturn partner Agent K in the third installment of the hit sci-fi comedy series.

Why You Should See It: Will Smith is still the most bankable star in Hollywood and he rarely disappoints during summer blockbuster season.

Why You Should Avoid It: See MIB II – and this one doesn’t feature Rosario Dawson.

And the Magic 8 Ball Says:  Why not.